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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482033">Homiesexual</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZRM/pseuds/ZRM'>ZRM</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Fuck peter, HOMIEsexual, M/M, Maybe a little bit more than “just friends”, Prongsfoot kind of not really, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter Friendship, Young Sirius Black, except peter, they’re just two drunk boys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:28:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482033</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZRM/pseuds/ZRM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and James aren’t gay. No way, that’s not what’s happening here. They just sometimes get drunk and make out a little bit. Sometimes a bit more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Homiesexual</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This idea came to me from a TikTok. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJD1YCgV/  If you want to watch the TikTok that made my mind decide this was a good idea there it is. Anyways, before you read it, I’m sorry.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James had no clue who had smuggled the firewhiskey in. All he knew is that Gryffindor had won the quidditch match and he was celebrating with a few too many drinks with his best friends. He didn’t remember leaning over and kissing Sirius when he woke up. He didn’t remember Sirius kissing him back. He definitely didn’t remember both of them skipping off to their room and continuing in there. All he did know when he woke up  was that he was in his best friend’s bed and his head was pounding and he couldn’t see straight.<br/>“So are you guys gay together or something,” was the first thing they were asked by Peter when he realized they’re both awake.<br/>James sputtered out incomprehensible sentences before Sirius barked in laughter.<br/>“C’mon, Wormy. Don’t you think if we were gay, together or otherwise, you guys would know it? Even if I was gay this tosser wouldn’t be my type.”<br/>James looked totally offended. <br/>“Excuse me? I’m everyone’s type. What do you mean I wouldn’t be your type?”<br/>Which caused Remus to chuckle at them and hand them a potion. <br/>“You aren’t trying to kill us, right, Moons?”<br/>To which Remus rolled his eyes. <br/>“I have that chance once a month if I want to do it. It’s a hangover potion.”<br/>And James laughed and chugged it down. <br/>“Moony would be my type, Prongs. I mean, how could he not be?”<br/>And James nodded like it made all the sense in the world. Like they weren’t just laying in bed together talking about their hypothetical type in men.<br/>“I think you definitely would be my type.” <br/>“Of course I would be.”<br/>And when the potion kicked in a few minutes later Sirius and James started wrestling. Peter stared at them like they were a creature he just discovered and Moony had already turned back to his book.<br/>“You guys made out pretty heavily last night. Don’t think you made it any further than that though,” Remus supplied.<br/>James laughed.<br/>“It’s not gay if it’s with the homies.”<br/>Remus rolled his eyes and Peter laughed. </p>
<p>The next time it happens, it’s Sirius’s birthday. James managed to convince one of the older kids to get them a couple of bottles of firewhiskey and they spent the entire night celebrating Sirius’s sixteenth birthday. Sirius initiated the kiss after him and James had finished a bottle of firewhiskey themselves. That night they went just a bit further than kissing and giggled every time Peter or Remus told them to shut up and get a room. <br/>When they woke up the next morning, Sirius would be lying if he said he didn’t remember anything. He could remember most of the night and he remembered part of what had happened between him and James. It made him feel sick. Of course he was gay, there was no way a straight guy would touch another guy. He groaned and rolled over realizing James was gone. James’s face appeared in front of him a few seconds later. He was smiling that stupid crooked smile he always had on his face as he held out a potion. <br/>“You sure I’m not your type, Pads,” James asked, sheepishly.<br/>Sirius shushed him as he drank the potion. A few minutes later he looked at James and smirked.<br/>“It’s not gay if it’s with the homies.”<br/>James whooped. <br/>“Yeah! It’s not gay if it’s with the homies!”<br/>Remus rolled his eyes at the two of them.<br/>“As the only gay in the room let me just tell you, it’s hella gay.”<br/>James looked a bit confused for a second before shaking his head.<br/>“Nah, it’s not, Moons. Did you just use our sexy nights to come out to us? I’m a bit confused here. Did you know Moony is gay?”<br/>Sirius shook his head.<br/>“James isn’t your type either is he?”<br/>Remus glared at them. <br/>“We are not doing this again.”<br/>“I’m homiesexual,” James said jokingly.<br/>“But Lily hates you and you love her so much so how are you homiesexual,” Peter asked.<br/>Sirius and Remus laughed and James glared at Peter. </p>
<p>It happened a few more times that year, always going a bit further, but it wasn’t until their last night when they won the house cup that they went all the way, losing their virginity to each other. After doing it, they returned to the party, but everyone could tell just by looking at them what had happened. They continued on like nothing had happened and the next morning, Remus teased the hell out of them. <br/>“So who topped?”<br/>“Shut up, Moony,” James replied.<br/>“So Sirius topped? I would’ve taken Sirius as a bottom.”<br/>Sirius laughed out loud. <br/>“Oh, Moons, you know me so well. I definitely bottomed if the soreness in my ass is anything to go by.” <br/>Peter looked extremely uncomfortable and James’s face turned bright red. Remus laughed.<br/>“Of course you bottomed.”<br/>This time, Sirius jokingly punched Remus’s shoulder. Remus pinned him down and Sirius looked shocked and a little bit flustered. <br/>“Oh yeah, neither of you two is even a little bit gay. You’re totally right,” Peter said under his breath. <br/>James laughed and from that moment on it became a running joke between the four of them. James and Sirius swore to each other and the other two that they were totally straight and the other two made fun of the fact that they’re “straight” but makeout and fuck sometimes when they’re drunk. </p>
<p>Their drunk shenanigans continued all the way through school. In their seventh year, Remus and Sirius started dating and James acted like a scorned lover. <br/>“You mean, you’re cheating on me?”<br/>“Is he not even going to comment on the fact that Sirius just came out after claiming for years to be straight,” Peter whispered to Remus.<br/>“I think he always kind of knew to be fair,” Remus replied to Peter.<br/>“Are you two happy?”<br/>Remus nodded.<br/>“Good, then I’m happy for you.”<br/>“Thanks, Pete.”<br/>“Baby, baby, baby, you knew the thing with us wasn’t that serious.”<br/>James burst out laughing before schooling his features and continuing.<br/>“I thought what we had was special. Did I mean nothing to you? Nothing at all? How dare you!”<br/>Sirius smirked.<br/>“Listen, I barely remember our time together. Maybe another drunk night will come along and we can pick this back up.” <br/>James walked over to Sirius and punched his shoulder.<br/>“You lying bastard! You said it wasn’t gay!”<br/>Sirius laughed at that.<br/>“It was always going to be very gay, Prongsie. My little gay heart just can’t handle how gay it was.”<br/>James laughed.<br/>“Yeah, all that was a little bit gay wasn’t it?”<br/>“James, my brother- ew wait no, I take that back. Ew. No. You can’t be my brother anymore. II need to go take a shower and throw up. That’s ew.”<br/>James smirked.<br/>“Have a thing for your brother, pads?”<br/>“Ew, James. That’s disgusting. Do you have a thing for my brother?”<br/>James’s face turned red as he denied it. <br/>“No. I forbid it,” Sirius said.<br/>“I don’t. Not really. Just, you two do look a lot alike.”<br/>Remus and Peter started laughing.<br/>“Are you coming out to us James,” Remus teased.<br/>“Wait, I’m bi? Am I? Wait, I need to come out better. This isn’t fair.” <br/>And just like that they all dissolved in a pile of giggles. Sirius knew James was mostly kidding about Regulus and James knew if he did end up trying with Regulus, Sirius would support them.</p>
<p>After that day, James got a date with Lily and they became an official couple. Sirius and James stopped fooling around every time they were drunk, but they did still spend their time drunk cuddling, something the two did even when sober. Lily and Remus joked that Sirius and James were the two that were actually in a relationship. <br/>James had the audacity to say, “Well I did fuck him first.” <br/>Lily hit him in the back of the head and Remus and him jokingly duelled. Sirius sat off to the side laughing. </p>
<p>After they graduated, they continued getting together on all holidays including, September first, their birthdays, the day Sirius and Remus got together, and the day Lily finally agreed to go out with James. When Remus and Sirius broke up and started accusing each other of being the spy, getting together got harder and Lily told James to do what he had to to make sure Sirius was okay. <br/>That night they got drunk and it was like they were back at Hogwarts. The next morning instead of Remus teasing them, they had Lily there to tease them. She was pregnant and Sirius knew they were planning to go into hiding. He wouldn’t be able to see either of them ever again. <br/>“Sorry, I slept with your husband.”<br/>Lily tried to look angry.<br/>“That’s the last time, got it, Black?”<br/>James smirked.<br/>“Of course it is, Lil. You’re the only one I love.”<br/>Lily rolled her eyes as she handed both of them hangover potions. <br/>“How are you feeling, Sirius,” she asked softly.<br/>Sirius smiled sadly at her.<br/>“Sore.”<br/>James punched jokingly in the arm.<br/>“That’s not what-”<br/>“I know, I’m alright. I miss him. Thank you for last night, Lily. I promise it won’t happen again.”<br/>She nodded.<br/>“I know, it won’t. James almost didn’t let go last night because he was worried about me no matter how many times I told him it was fine. I trust both of you and I know neither of you would disrespect mine and James’s marriage. I heard you last night stopping James and telling him to think about me.”<br/>Sirius smiled at her.<br/>“Okay, now, I’m going to need you to leave so that I can put clothes on and get out of you guys’s hair.”<br/>“You’re always welcome here, Pads,” James said, giving him a little side hug.<br/>“I know.”<br/>Lily walked out and Sirius stood and got dressed before leaving. </p>
<p>The next time he saw James, he was convincing him to choose Peter as his secret keeper. He knew if he became secret keeper he’d be too tempted to visit his godson everyday. He knew he was the obvious choice. He knew that the only way they could be totally secure and safe was if it was someone nobody would have guessed. Peter was the perfect choice. </p>
<p>The next time he saw his best friend was on halloween. His best friend was on the ground, dead. He had no idea what had happened there that night, but James was unarmed. He could’ve fought off Voldemort had he had a wand. Sirius knew James was more skilled than anyone he knew in Defense Against the Dark Arts. If James had his wand, at least Lily and Harry would still be alive even if he lost his best friend.<br/>He went up the stairs that were barely intact to find Lily’s lifeless body in front of Harry’s crib and Harry babbling momma holding himself up on the edge of the crib. Sirius walked over and lifted Harry out of the crib, hugging him and kissing his forehead where he could see a cut. <br/>“I’ll find Pettigrew and I’ll kill him if it’s the last thing I do,” he promised Harry. <br/>He sat the baby back in the crib and left the house in search of Wormtail. He found him just before being surrounded by aurors. Sirius tried to go after the rat but he was chained up and taken away. All he could think about while in Azkaban was that Peter was still out there and he was never going to get revenge for his best friend. </p>
<p>When he broke out he had nowhere to go. There was no one who could help him. He saw a paper with Pettigrew in it although Pettigrew was Wormtail in the paper. He knew exactly where he needed to go. He went to Hogwarts and found the rat. Pettigrew got away because Remus turned into Moony. Moony was no longer used to having Padfoot around so he fought him. Just like their first moon together. </p>
<p>A couple years later after refalling in love with Remus, he was still searching for Pettigrew to the best of his abilities. Remus told him to focus on what was important, Harry, but Sirius still thought killing Pettigrew was important. Just as important as protecting Harry. If it weren’t for Peter, they could’ve destroyed Voldemort in the first war and Harry would still have his parents. <br/>He had made a promise to Harry and he planned on fulfilling that promise even if Harry couldn’t remember it. He knew Harry was in trouble so he got Remus and went to him only to find them in the middle of a battle. Sirius jumped right in battling his dear cousin. Stupify hit him and he felt himself falling. <br/>I’ll finally get to be with James and Lily again, he thought before, the rat won. I’m sorry Harry.</p>
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